Tag Archives: WTF Wednesday

How to stay warm this winter with a cheap vacation

vacationBY ALEX RUSSELL 

A significant part of America has been experiencing single digit temperatures (or worse) every day for a few months now. Everyone’s made all the “snowpocolypse” and “Chiberia” jokes you can stand and it’s time to get away from those people.

The only way to escape and experience some form of respite is to go on vacation. There are plenty of helpful guides about how to actually book your trip (suggested Google search: “how+to+book+cheap+vacation+without+dying+house+of+cards”) but it can be tough to know which island is for you.

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You need an iPhone!

iphoneBY MICHAEL CAHIILL

The iPhone: the undeniable representation of the average under-30 American. Ever since some guy in a black turtleneck unveiled a block-like device with touch capabilities back in January 2007, the business, technology, and communication industries have never been the same. The iPhone was a revolutionary contraption that fused together the internet, a music player, a phone, and many other technologies into one pocket-sized device.

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The Last Second Guide to Writing a Tired Post About Valentine’s Day

broken heartsBY ALEX RUSSELL

Love stinks, right?

That’s one way to go with your Valentine’s Day post, for sure. No matter if you write for a personal blog or a national column, this week if you’re in the business of talking you have to talk about Valentine’s Day. What else are you going to talk about, the Olympics? Name six people in the Olympics. Do it. Name any that aren’t Shaun White.

Trick question! No one’s at the Olympics. Those are just an obvious ploy to give lonely hearts something to talk about this week rather than think about the greatest, loveliest day of the year!

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How to eat for free forever at your office

coffee mateBY ALEX RUSSELL

One of the big issues with working in an office is that a lot of people are in close proximity while they’re working. Even if everyone gets along, this creates natural problems. There’s a scarcity of bathrooms. There’s no way to regulate the temperature. There’s constant distractions.

Above all else, though, is the kitchen situation. There are a million people in the world complaining about the guy that microwaved fish because he’s never had to deal with the feelings of another person, somehow. This is about something more important.

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How to survive your 10-year high school reunion

imageBY ALEX RUSSELL

I just got invited to my ten year high school reunion. I’ve thought about preparing for this for almost two full days, so I’m clearly ready to tell you everything you need to know to prepare for your next one. Let’s go back to school.

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Because It’s There: Watching 10-Hour Videos on YouTube

Photo Credit: Lollapalooza/Daft Punk

Photo Credit: Lollapalooza/Daft Punk

BY ALEX RUSSELL

George Mallory supposedly said the most famous quote about Mount Everest of all time. When the famed mountaineer was asked why he wanted to climb the highest peak in existence he supposedly just said “because it’s there.”

We do what we do because it is there to be done. It does not matter why. Why doesn’t enter into it. Someone made a nearly 4,000 pound pumpkin pie because no one had ever made that big of a damn pie before, people. Why isn’t that enough for you?

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Do we act like ourselves on Twitter?

TwitterBY JACK MARSHALL

What role does social media play in your life? In the past 5 years, exponential increases in social media have been prominent — but is it YOUR life you’re portraying behind that iPhone? Social media is any shy individual’s safe haven; they put on a persona which they could never execute otherwise due to the limitations of face-to-face interaction.

What does that say about society as a whole? Are we linearly growing more awkward on the scene and more vibrant on the screen?

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Urban Dictionary Words of the Week

urbandictionaryBY TROY PHILLIPS

You’d better believe it’s back. Here I present to you the first haul from the pristine (and allergy inducing) month of May.

In related news, WordPress has released a new feature that links my words as I write them to similar content from blogs across the world. I would predict that the ‘Related Content’ bar is probably going become join the ranks of useful features that I fail to employ, but for now it stands as a shiny new toy and loyal supporter, to boot. How does this relate to the column? What am I talking about?

I’ve given the system this entire intro’s worth of content to produce viable suggestions for “Urban Dictionary Words of the Week”, and to my mild surprise there are none. That is, none that truly embody the fun-loving spirit that is my weekly rundown of captivating words. So if you’re looking for an improved compilation, feel free to browse the web to your heart’s content. Just do yourself a favor and bookmark this page so that you can make a swift return. Cue maniacal laugh and this week’s words.

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New delivery options: Pizza Hut and Burger King think you could stand to be fatter

pizzahutBY ALEX RUSSELL

I have never done anything that made me think “It’s really hard to get a pizza right now.”

If you have (you haven’t) then Microsoft has a solution for you. Now you can order pizza on Xbox 360. Or I should say “pizza” because it’s Pizza Hut, but still. Finally, the arduous task of clicking six times becomes as easy as hitting six buttons.

They announced this service last week. You can get 15% off your first purchase if you order this week. It isn’t the stupidest thing they’ve ever done as a company, but it’s up there. My favorite part of their announcement is that you can connect your Xbox Live account with your “PizzaHut.com” account.

I hope you do not have a PizzaHut.com account. No one anywhere should have a PizzaHut.com account.

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In Case You Missed It: Kyle Kinane

kylekinaneBY ALEX RUSSELL

Anyone can read a Wikipedia page. Every Wednesday in “In Case You Missed It” I hope to put in context something in the world of comedy for non comedy-nerds. This week we look at Kyle Kinane, the voice of Comedy Central and an entire generation of people who ate too many meals at 7-11 in their teenage years.

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