Most of you should be familiar with the most excellent Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan by now. These two duders only formed one of the most successful and influential rock bands of the past two decades: Wyld Stallyns.
Writing for Poor Scholars, I feel it is my civil duty to share with you my monumental Internet discoveries.
This morning while mourning the loss of football season and yet another lost Chicago Bears season filled with high expectations and inept offensive performances, I stumbled upon something truly great. Almost instinctively I went to YouTube in an effort to cheer myself up by watching The Super Bowl Shuffle for the 10 millionth time. Reliving the glory days of the magical 1985 Bears season is the only thing that eases the pain after another Bears-less Super Bowl.
What if I told you there was a commercial with three NFL All-Pro players endorsing Depends adult
diapers? What if I told you that these three players were Clay Matthews, DeMarcus Ware and Wes Welker? What if I told you that they are all wearing adult diapers in the commercial?
You would tell me I was crazy, that there is no way three superstar NFL players would agree to endorse such a product. Well, guess what? You are dead wrong!
The big news coming out of yesterday’s media day in the Superdome was of course that Randy Moss is the greatest wide receiver of all time. Well, at least according to Randy Moss, and in case you were too enthralled with this one-man debate to catch anything else, you may have missed another minor story about a player not quite as great as Mr. Moss: Ray Lewis.
Professionally, Dwayne Johnson has been called Rocky Maivia, The Rock, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and finally, back to his birth name. The transformation from People’s Champ to a bona fide, full-fledged movie star has been completed. If you don’t believe that last statement, feel free to look at Forbes list of highest-paid actors from 2012. Dwayne Johnson comes in at number four, banking a cool $36 million last year alone.
“Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too…”
We’ve all heard that line uttered to us before, right? Well actually as disappointing as it may seem most people don’t have bosses like Bill Lumbergh. What we do share in common with Peter Gibbons is that our jobs suck for the most part.