BY PAT FLYNN
Ellen DeGeneres Justin Bieber got arrested last night and it unified Twitter in a way that I thought only the death of Osama bin Laden could do. Bieber, a 19 year-old pop star that never actually had a chance of being a normal human being, got popped by Miami Beach Police Wednesday night for allegedly drag racing, resisting arrest without violence and copping to drinking, smoking weed and prescription drugs. It’s a tale as old as time.
Twitter wants Bieber, a Canadian native, to be deported. It won’t happen. In this country, if you make over a certain amount of money, you can do whatever you want. Or, if you’re having sex with people that make enough money, you can do whatever you want. (Lindsay Lohan nods approvingly)
Twitter has been extremely entertaining today for a few reasons: 1) This arrogant idiot was actually doing dangerous shit and got in trouble. 2) We like to watch things go poorly for famous people. 3) There’s really only one side to this. It’s us against that kid with leather shorts on and a chain that weighs more than him. 4. Pictures from TMZ show Bieber having his shirt off in a Miami club right before the arrest. Some people can get away with doing that. Bieber isn’t one of them. Generally, my rule is that if you have your shirt off indoors, at night or both, then I assume you’re the worst person I’ll ever know and you deserve whatever you get.
Here are some of my favorite pictures, photoshops and tweets from the day:
— ☥▲khen▲ten ☥ Bl▲ck☥ (@ABlackTV) January 23, 2014
— Philip A. Blunt (@Philip_Below) January 23, 2014
— Drew Cleary (@DrewCleary77) January 23, 2014
— Heredes Ribeiro (@Heredes) January 23, 2014
Racing a lambo with a model in the car and SUVs backing him up? You can’t even #DeportBieber for that, Vin Diesel basically made him do it.
— Erica (@ericatweete) January 23, 2014
I know Americans with DUIs who can’t get into Canada. Does this mean we’re now stuck with Bieber? #deportBieber
— Rachel Lewis (@tripledekephoto) January 23, 2014
— Zach Kumke (@kumkewx) January 23, 2014
— brandon. (@somekidbrandon) January 23, 2014
— Marcus Mitchell (@MarcusMitchel10) January 23, 2014
— The Race Draft (@The_Race_Draft) January 23, 2014
#DeportBieber and give us Rob Ford. Yes, we’d be better off.
— NOT LeBron James (@FauxLeBronJames) January 23, 2014
#DeportBieber and take Nickelback with him
— Slim Sensei (@JetlifeSensei) January 23, 2014