Real World: Portland – Hurricane Nia has made landfall (with Power Rankings)

By PAT FLYNN

Hurricane Nia MTV

Hurricane Nia
MTV

If you watched last week’s episode, Joi’s decision to leave meant one thing.

That tall black chick that was decking everyone in the preseason trailer is coming in.

Nia jumped right into things this episode. The way MTV portrayed her was a bit confusing. There is no doubt that they were playing her up to be a villain and she has done a solid job contributing to that characterization. Lying about your ethnicity and talking in a fake accent was a solid intro for anybody looking to embrace the villain role.

Everyone is trying to figure her out from the beginning and you know when she’s shaking hands with these people they’re all thinking, ‘Why did you fake an accent and lie about your race?’

After the group’s initial sit down with Nia, they were all left with a universal feeling of “she’s nice today, but she could have an attitude or I’m probably going to get into it with her.”

I like how she’s acknowledged that she’s getting to know Jordan purely to take him down. Sun Tzu would be insanely proud. I’m 100 percent OK with this and I’m sure everyone in the house is cool with it as well.

Best convo of the episode was Anastasia and Nia discussing how nice it is to meet a smart AND beautiful girl like themselves. They’re so rare.

Next scene, Jordan lies to the group and tells them they’re going on a two mile bike ride when in fact it is an eight mile bike ride. He says it’s because he thinks they need it. Hahahaa…this fuckin guy…

Props to Nia for wearing ill-fitting spandex shorts and a sports bra for 85 percent of the episode. Good choice.

Marlon and Nia’s talk outside was pretty cool actually. It got to an actual issue which is something reality television (if you want to call this reality TV even) doesn’t ever do. Marlon talked about his experience in the gay community and Nia opened up about getting date raped.

It seemed to reveal a big reason why she is the way she is. She doesn’t trust dudes, understandably, and will not be disrespected by them in anyway. She comes off as a bit of a feminist too as she talks to Jessica about standing up for herself and her anger towards Jordan for picking on the girls.

Nia’s days of being used are done and she has seemingly taken the extreme opposite position. She will be doing the using now, and with her looks, intelligence and willingness to be conniving, she’s got the tools to be pretty good at it.

Her whole speech about pulling someone aside and not robbing them of their dignity was nice, until she offered to blow a guy publicly to prove he has a small penis.

That scene was one for the Real World record books.

She later revealed she wasn’t going to go through with it, but was just trying to blow him up.

Through that whole scene you feel really bad for Marlon though. That poor dude was putting in work over the course of days and was about to make a move. But Jordan started acting like Jordan and she decided to cash in on the long con she was playing and take him down by exposing him.

Meanwhile, Marlon is just sitting there like really? Haha, poor guy.

Real World: Portland Power Rankings

1. Nia – I think she meant to send her audition tape to Bad Girls Club, but apparently MTV got it. Anyways, as the new roommate, she dominated the episode. Took control of the house and can go toe-to-toe with anyone in the house — and apparently she’s willing to.

2. Marlon – Cool dude. Can get along with anyone and has a certain LeRoy (RW Vegas) to him. You’re not going to get too much confrontation from him though, which could hurt him in the rankings down the road.

3. Anastasia – At least has opinions and isn’t afraid to say them. She thinks she’s way more attractive than she actually is, which is one of my favorite qualities in people.

4. Jordan – Everybody in the house dislikes him. When there is drinking involved, they all hate him. But the guys tolerate him sober and that gets him through the day. But the guy’s ability to be unlikable is impressive. Talks down to people and has no perspective. Total asshole/great reality TV personality.

5. Avery – Explained more in depth about her mommy issues this week, which I feel should lead to something solid down the road. Next episode looks to be a her and Johnny fight episode. So we’ll see. She’s nice to look at and was barely there this week.

5. Johnny – Johnny’s role in the show this week was to pick up Daisy. He was sufficient at it. Next week looks more promising for him.

6. Jessica – There were no giants in cargo shorts and black crew socks that needed dating this week.

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