When not doing his YouTuber of the Week segment, Poor Scholars’ Troy Phillips sorts through the creative, the weird and the disturbing to find his favorite words of the week from Urban Dictionary. After making repeated use of the “random” button to sort through potential candidates, here are Troy’s discoveries for this week.
Last week I admitted that the frequency of these segments has been lacking and I wanted to set things right. Two consecutive Words of the Week Wednesdays may only be a small step towards regularity, but if you’re complaining about that then I say your standards are too high. I also say that it’s time to launch into this week’s crop of words and let the future take care of itself.
Word 1: Update Day
Definition: The one day, usually every month or so, where you finally crack, and update Adobe, iTunes, Steam, and a bunch of other crap all day. Basically renders your computer useless if you are using anything but solitaire.
Example(s): God dammit! iTunes wants me too update! And Steam too! I guess it is update day again.
Comment: Update day usually forces itself on me when my browser starts to crash continuously and I accidentally update ten other programs before finding the one I need. How virtual programs wear down escapes me; but then again so do most things regarding computers.
Word 2: Twihard
Definition: Stupid obsessive people (mostly teenage girls) who are “in love with fictional characters and wouldn’t know a good book if it punched them in the face.
Example(s): Twihard: “OMG!! Isn’t Edward Cullen like so hot??? I’m gonna marry him!!!”
Awesome person who isn’t insane: “Dude, he’s not real.”
Twihard: “How could you say that?! I’m in love with him!!”
Comment: This definition registers high on the hater scale, but I love the sound of the word ‘twihard’. It’s the kind of phonetic blend that makes you think of a cute child with a lisp or, better yet, an awkward adult who never outgrew his vocal deficiencies. Oh, and Twilight sucks. Now I’ve also satisfied any haters that I offended with that first sentence.
Word 3: Blogosphere
Definition: Imagine a million lunatics wandering the streets mumbling to themselves. Write it all down and put it on the web. Congratulations, you’ve just created the blogosphere.
Example(s): I wonder what the blogosphere has to say about the latest political scandal.
Comment: Hey…. What have you ever done besides write a few sarcastic definitions? Yeah, I’m calling you out Colin.LA; your first mistake was including your location in your username. Your second was messing with the blogosphere’s version of Liam Neeson.
Word 4: Work Paralysis
Definition: The inability to get work done because of its large quantity. Similar to writer’s block, but applies to all work with a deadline.
Example(s): The stack of paperwork had reached an all time high, and i was hit with work paralysis
Comment: I’ve been told that some of our writers may be feeling some of this right about now. To them and anyone else facing an insurmountable number of frustrating tasks, stay strong.
Word 5: Self Qualified Referee
Definition: Someone at any sporting event who always has to call the fouls, say the ref is wrong, or something similar even though nobody really listens to them and they don’t have any idea what they are talking about. They think the ref is wrong about everything even though he gets paid to do it.
Example(s): Soccer Mom-Oh, come on, that was such a foul!
Annoyed Observer-SHUT UP YOU SELF QUALIFIED REFEREE!!!
Comment: Honestly, this is becoming an epidemic at parties and gatherings across the United States. Some people actually seem to believe that they are providing analysis by second guessing referees from the comfort of their lazy-boy. My method for dealing with self qualified refs is to continue talking to them about the game that they claim to know so well until they realize that they have very little idea what is actually going on. This usually quiets a rent-a-ref for about 30 seconds, until the next controversial call is made and they pull a Dory from Finding Nemo.
Disclaimer: Use the “random” button on Urban Dictionary with caution. For every amusing definition like those above, there were five disturbing or commonplace words that took away time and innocence which I will never get back. Thank you and enjoy your Wednesday.
Clarification: All definitions, words and examples are not my intellectual property and as such have not been altered from their original content and format. In other words, I’m the messenger, so think twice before trying to shoot me.