Chuck E Cheese’s: WHERE ADULTS CAN GET IN FIGHTS!

Chuck E Cheese's in Boynton Beach, FLORIDA. Like this would happen in any other state.

Chuck E Cheese’s in Boynton Beach, FLORIDA. Like this would happen in any other state.

By PAT FLYNN

I’ve always known Chuck E Cheese’s as the go-to place for a kid to be a kid. Like if a kid ever came up to me and said “I just want to be a kid.” I would have told the kid to go to Chuck E Cheese’s.

But after this awesome/expected story out of Florida, I would no longer hypothetically tell kids to go to Chuck E Cheese’s because apparently they’re changing their image.

WPBF reported that an 18-man fight broke out at a child’s birthday party last week that led to a man being shot and the kid’s parents being arrested for drug possession.

The B-roll on the WPBF clip is great. Police found bottles of Ciroc vodka in a diaper bag after the parents ran out on the $300 tab to continue the brawl that started in the bathroom.

The Asshole Triumvirate from left: Robert Thompson, Alfred Peoples and Briana Walker, the boy's mother, who was arrested for drug possession.

The Asshole Triumvirate from left: Robert Thompson, Alfred Peoples and Briana Walker, the boy’s mother, who was arrested for drug possession. Photo: WPBF.com

After running out on the tab, someone sitting on the mother’s side of the car threw out packages containing Xanax, marijuana, crack and morphine. The dueling parties immediately took their fight to a nearby street location. It was there that a guy was shot in the leg after someone drew a gun and fired it at a car the man was sitting in. The gunman is still at large and the victim is OK.

The most overlooked part of this is that the Chuck E Cheese staff was able to break this up and get these assholes out of their fine establishment. It raises questions as well: Who works there? What kind of service weapon do Chuck E Cheese employees carry? Do they have riot training?

The three assholes were officially arrested on drug possession and running out on the tab (defrauding an innkeeper).

For more important stuff like this follow me on Twitter @pjflynn23.

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3 thoughts on “Chuck E Cheese’s: WHERE ADULTS CAN GET IN FIGHTS!

  1. Alex Russell says:

    When I worked at Wendy’s as a teenager we had to sign a document that said we would not quote “be a hero” if something like this happened. I can only assume the Chuck E Cheese manual demands that you “get your name written in trashy Valhalla.”

    • Pat Flynn says:

      Dude, you worked at Wendy’s? I worked at Dairy Queen and ate, on average, 743 chicken nuggets per week from Wendy’s. And yes, I can only assume Chuck E Cheese demands that of their employees.

  2. Brian Godar says:

    I remember reading about some bank teller getting fired for successfully stopping a bank robbery. Companies take that “don’t be a hero” stuff to extremes.

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