During the Super Bowl, Poor Scholars’
degenerate gambler gambling expert Rambo Nomolos placed 14 prop bets for some extra money for Busch Light and tins of Grizzly. See how Rambo fared and why he made each selection.
Going into this year’s Super Bowl, I had no vested interest in the game. I could have cared less if the Ravens or the 49ers won. (In case you need a refresher on how poorly I predicted the game, feel free to read Poor Scholars’ Super Bowl preview again while laughing at me.) Of course, and this was called out by our editors, I had not yet placed any wagers on the game. By kickoff early Sunday evening I had placed 14 wagers and with this new monetary incentive on the table, I was all in on the San Francisco 49ers.
Alicia Keys – How Long Will it Take Her to Sing the National Anthem (From first note starts until she completes saying Brave). Over 2 Minute 05 Seconds at -130. If you thought I was above betting on something like this you were dead wrong and to tell you the truth I thought this was the single biggest lock of the whole day. Retroactively, I wish I could go back and empty my bank account on this single bet. We already knew she was going to be performing with a piano and Beyoncé gave a live rendition on Thursday. You knew Alicia Keys was going to bring it. I had her at 2:35.5, but I’m not the one who keeps the “official” time for this. Whatever it was waaaay over.
First Kickoff of the Game Results in a Touchback. Yes at -150. This one kind of felt like stealing. Too bad the 49ers kickoff to start the 2nd half didn’t work out quite as well as the opening kickoff did for my sports book.
Total Score Over 47.5. Over. I won this bet, but to be fair I won despite the fact that the logic I used to pick this game was completely wrong. Honestly, I thought the 49ers would blow out the Ravens, accounting for most of the points in the over with the Ravens picking up a garbage time score or two. When the Ravens jumped out to a quick lead and the 49ers were completely inept in the first half, I thought I was screwed on this one. Thank god everything changed when Bane caused a blackout in the middle of the game.
Total Touchdowns Scored in the Game. Over 5.5 at even. Please see the above paragraph about why I made this bet, it’s pretty self-explanatory.
49ers – Total Points. Over 26.5 at -120. If you aren’t beginning to see a trend here maybe you should just stop reading this now.
Frank Gore – Total Rushing Attempts. Over 18.5 at -140.
Frank Gore – Total Rushing Yards. Over 85.5 at -115.
49ers – Total Rushing Yards. Over 158.5 at -115. My train of thought involving these three bets was pretty simple. San Francisco arguably had the best offensive line in football this year. San Francisco also had the third-ranked rushing offense in football according to Football Outsider’s offensive efficiency ratings. All while Baltimore had the 19th ranked defense with the 26th ranked rush defense according to these same stats. Obviously I thought that Baltimore wasn’t going to be able to stop either Frank Gore or contain Colin Kaepernick. This certainly wasn’t the case in the first half, but after the blackout San Francisco was able to run the ball.
Super Bowl XLVII – Coin Toss. Tails at -102. You all know the old adage: “tails never fails.” Well this time it boned me over.
Frank Gore – Will he Score a First Half Touchdown. Yes at +170. If I thought that the 49ers were going to blow out the Ravens and that they were also going to run all over them, it’s pretty safe to say that I figured Frank Gore would find the end zone in the first half.
2013 NFL Super Bowl XLVII MVP: Randy Moss at +4000 and Frank Gore at +1000. In our preview I picked Randy Moss as my dark horse for MVP. While I knew this was extremely unlikely and I was basically throwing away money, I had to do it. Cheering for Randy Moss is always a plus in my book although seeing him make half-assed attempts to catch passes thrown his way can be frustrating.
Maybe if the 49ers hadn’t inexplicably run three straight passing plays from the 5-yard line, my Frank Gore for MVP bet would have been a winner. The one rushing play they ran on first and goal also happened to go to LaMichael James. While there is no doubt Jim Harbaugh is a fantastic coach, the play calling to determine the outcome of the Super Bowl was highly questionable. I mean zero carries for Frank Gore on a goal-to-go situation to determine the World Champion? Slightly upsetting.
49ers to win at -200. If you thought I was picking the Ravens to win after reading all of this, there must be something wrong with you.
I also had the Gatorade bath being dumped on the winning head coach being red at +350. However, I got my money back for this one as no one on the Ravens decided to shower John Harbaugh — or anyone for that matter — with Gatorade. This was one of the biggest disappointments of the entire game in my mind.
To recap, I went 8-5-1 with my Super Bowl bets this year. I didn’t win enough money to be reclassified as anything but a Poor Scholar, but I didn’t lose any money either so that was good. Also, I happened to win money in an office pool in Super Bowl squares via the intentional safety at the end of the game. I love gambling on sports.