Poor Scholars rates the commercials from the Super Bowl

leonBY SCOTT PHILLIPS AND TROY PHILLIPS

Commercials, and their outrageous $3.7 million price tag, have become an important part of the Super Bowl. While many other websites review commercials aired during the Super Bowl, Poor Scholars reviewed the commercials as they happened — without a second chance to watch them — just like the millions of viewers witness them at home. Poor Scholars’ brother tandem of Scott and Troy Phillips reviewed the commercials as they happened by jotting down thoughts and grading them as they occurred. Promos for CBS shows or the NFL were not included. Each review also includes a link to the commercial.

 

Bud Black Crown

Scott: Anheuser-Busch has had the first Super Bowl ad for 25 straight years. Cool fact, but booooooring ad. What does “our beer” even mean. F
Troy: Totally phoned it in. D-

M&Ms

Scott: Fairly amusing. I enjoyed the horrified M&M in the oven the most. B
Troy: C+

Audi

Scott:  Kid going to prom alone? Loser. Epic move to make up for it, though. B
Troy: B-

Hyundai

Scott: Kids assembling a squad for some sandlot football reminds me that football was fun and nobody cared about concussions. B
Troy:Gotta love the ginger lifting. B-

Godaddy.com

Scott: Gross. Just gross. D
Troy: C+

Doritos

Scott: You’ve done better, Doritos. C
Troy: C+

Pepsi Next

Scott:  “Hey, did you guys see that Party X movie?” “You mean Project X, sir?” “Yeah! I want an ad like that.” D
Troy: I liked the duct tape on the ceiling.C+

Best Buy

Scott: Amy Poehler doing Amy Poehler things. C
Troy: C+

Bud Black Crown

Scott: Another boring ad. When a beer commercial doesn’t make you want to drink, you have a problem. D
Troy: AGAIN? D

Oz

Scott: This trailer was pretty cool. First PG-rated movie I’ve been excited about since elementary school. B
Troy: Looks like an awesome movie. B-

Coke

Scott: Going voyeur on us, Coca-Cola? I’m creeped out. C
Troy: C

Oreo

Scott: People whispering in a library is super original. C
Troy: B

Fast and Furious 6

Scott: Tanks! Planes! A fucking Plus
Troy: Not a fan of action movies, what can I say? C+

Rav 4

Scott: I’m just happy my guy Skee Lo made some money. “I Wish” is my jam. B
Troy: C+

Doritos

Scott: That’s better, Doritos. Wedding dress part made me laugh. B
Troy: Was the best Doritos ad, but very disappointing. B-

Calvin Klein

Scott: I just wish Calvin Klein would pay me for my body double work. F

Cars.com

Scott: Wolves? Tried to hard, Cars.com. C
Troy: C+

Bud Light

Scott: Voodoo, Super Bowl theme and Stevie Wonder. I’ll take it. B
Troy: Was cool the first time. B-

Godaddy.com

Scott: Dumb. Danica should drive planes instead of cars though. D
Troy: C+

Star Trek

Scott: Cool trailer. Loved the way they used sound effects in the middle to punctuate action scenes. A
Troy: B

Milk

Scott: The Rock. Nuff said. B
Troy: B-

Hyundai

Scott: Great concept. Everyone can relate to driving behind shady vehicles that you want to pass, but Hyundai made it funny. A
Troy: C+

VW

Scott: White people with Jamaican accents. Cool, I guess? C
Troy: Totally fresh angle, pretty funny. B+

Coke

Scott: Bunch of random groups of people chasing a coke bottle. Okay? D
Troy: No action, even for a commercial. C+

Subway

Scott: I’m convinced Jared would survive a nuclear war along with cockroaches. How is he STILL relevant? Incredible. C
Troy: Eric LeGrand saluting Jared? That seems a bit twisted. C

Taco Bell

Scott: Old people raging killed me. The old dude putting his nipple on the window was awesome. A

Sketchers

Scott: I was hoping they finally taped the cheetah to the Grandma’s back. Rats. D
Troy: B

Lincoln

Troy: Didn’t even try to change things up. C-

Jeep

Scott: Loved this commercial for the troops. I even chanted “U-S-A” on Twitter after. A

Iron Man 3

Scott: Siiiiick. B
Troy: B-

Century 21

Scott: As a twentysomething bachelor, anything with marriage before 30 is appalling to me. D
Troy: C

Blackberry

Troy: C+

E*TRADE

Scott: Retire the baby. C
Troy: Enough of the baby. C-

Subway

Scott: Subway is for homeless people and hearing Kevin from The Office use his normal voice was weird. C
Troy: They definitely have money for better advertising. D+

Bud Light

Scott: Whoa, Stevie Wonder again? C
Troy: Pretty much a repeat B-

Axe Apollo

Scott: Astronaut reminded me of Human Giant bit. Wish Cliff Tarpey could fight this beach astronaut. C
Troy: Funny twist. B-

Mio Fit

Scott: My Dad was yelling at my (other) brother for dropping something while Tracy Morgan was yelling. Total chaos. N/A
Troy: C+

David Letterman

Troy: Probably going to be criminally underrated, but the delivery and Luck’s mispronunciation are great. B+

Kia

Scott: Female robot beating up a dude. Okay? C

Gildan

Scott: Charlie Sheen can relate. B

Pistachios

Scott: Psy hasn’t been relevant in two months. Would have been good 2 months. D
Troy: C+

Lincoln

Scott: Boring D

Speed Stick

Scott: “I’d fold your panties anytime.” Slightly humorous. C
Troy: C+

Beck’s Sapphire

Scott: Blackstreet’s “No Diggity” sung poorly by a fish. Boooo! F
Troy: Clean graphics, visually captivating. B-

Budweiser

Scott: Classic song; classic campaign. B
Troy: Hat tip to a classic Super Bowl commercial. B

NFL Network

Scott: I could actually see Deion Sanders reacting this way. Leon Sandcastle. Killer. A
Troy: Might be the best value at No. 1 in this year’s draft. B+

Redd’s Apple Ale

Scott: Waste of money. Cliche commercial. F
Troy: Recycled an ad that was already on TV. That’s inexcusable. D

Dodge Ram

Scott: Great social commentary for a Dodge Ram? Pretty cool nonetheless. B
Troy: C+

Kia

Scott: Where babies come from was solid. B
Troy: C+

Tide

Scott: Cleaver use of Joe Montana for the stain. B
Troy: Wasn’t lucky enough for the Niners. B

SodaStream

Scott: Save 500 million bottles? Go recycling! B

Mercedes

Scott: Solid ad for the “cheap” Mercedes. B
Troy: C+

Samsung

Scott: Next big thing? Meh. LeBron mailed this one in, and Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd were mediocre after a promising start. D
Troy: So much potential, but ultimately a flop. C+

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