BY SCOTT PHILLIPS AND TROY PHILLIPS
Commercials, and their outrageous $3.7 million price tag, have become an important part of the Super Bowl. While many other websites review commercials aired during the Super Bowl, Poor Scholars reviewed the commercials as they happened — without a second chance to watch them — just like the millions of viewers witness them at home. Poor Scholars’ brother tandem of Scott and Troy Phillips reviewed the commercials as they happened by jotting down thoughts and grading them as they occurred. Promos for CBS shows or the NFL were not included. Each review also includes a link to the commercial.
Scott: Anheuser-Busch has had the first Super Bowl ad for 25 straight years. Cool fact, but booooooring ad. What does “our beer” even mean. F
Troy: Totally phoned it in. D-
Scott: Fairly amusing. I enjoyed the horrified M&M in the oven the most. B
Troy: C+
Scott: Kid going to prom alone? Loser. Epic move to make up for it, though. B
Troy: B-
Scott: Kids assembling a squad for some sandlot football reminds me that football was fun and nobody cared about concussions. B
Troy:Gotta love the ginger lifting. B-
Scott: Gross. Just gross. D
Troy: C+
Scott: You’ve done better, Doritos. C
Troy: C+
Scott: “Hey, did you guys see that Party X movie?” “You mean Project X, sir?” “Yeah! I want an ad like that.” D
Troy: I liked the duct tape on the ceiling.C+
Scott: Amy Poehler doing Amy Poehler things. C
Troy: C+
Scott: Another boring ad. When a beer commercial doesn’t make you want to drink, you have a problem. D
Troy: AGAIN? D
Scott: This trailer was pretty cool. First PG-rated movie I’ve been excited about since elementary school. B
Troy: Looks like an awesome movie. B-
Scott: Going voyeur on us, Coca-Cola? I’m creeped out. C
Troy: C
Scott: People whispering in a library is super original. C
Troy: B
Scott: Tanks! Planes! A fucking Plus
Troy: Not a fan of action movies, what can I say? C+
Scott: I’m just happy my guy Skee Lo made some money. “I Wish” is my jam. B
Troy: C+
Scott: That’s better, Doritos. Wedding dress part made me laugh. B
Troy: Was the best Doritos ad, but very disappointing. B-
Scott: I just wish Calvin Klein would pay me for my body double work. F
Scott: Wolves? Tried to hard, Cars.com. C
Troy: C+
Scott: Voodoo, Super Bowl theme and Stevie Wonder. I’ll take it. B
Troy: Was cool the first time. B-
Scott: Dumb. Danica should drive planes instead of cars though. D
Troy: C+
Scott: Cool trailer. Loved the way they used sound effects in the middle to punctuate action scenes. A
Troy: B
Scott: The Rock. Nuff said. B
Troy: B-
Scott: Great concept. Everyone can relate to driving behind shady vehicles that you want to pass, but Hyundai made it funny. A
Troy: C+
Scott: White people with Jamaican accents. Cool, I guess? C
Troy: Totally fresh angle, pretty funny. B+
Scott: Bunch of random groups of people chasing a coke bottle. Okay? D
Troy: No action, even for a commercial. C+
Scott: I’m convinced Jared would survive a nuclear war along with cockroaches. How is he STILL relevant? Incredible. C
Troy: Eric LeGrand saluting Jared? That seems a bit twisted. C
Scott: Old people raging killed me. The old dude putting his nipple on the window was awesome. A
Scott: I was hoping they finally taped the cheetah to the Grandma’s back. Rats. D
Troy: B
Troy: Didn’t even try to change things up. C-
Scott: Loved this commercial for the troops. I even chanted “U-S-A” on Twitter after. A
Scott: Siiiiick. B
Troy: B-
Scott: As a twentysomething bachelor, anything with marriage before 30 is appalling to me. D
Troy: C
Troy: C+
Scott: Retire the baby. C
Troy: Enough of the baby. C-
Scott: Subway is for homeless people and hearing Kevin from The Office use his normal voice was weird. C
Troy: They definitely have money for better advertising. D+
Scott: Whoa, Stevie Wonder again? C
Troy: Pretty much a repeat B-
Scott: Astronaut reminded me of Human Giant bit. Wish Cliff Tarpey could fight this beach astronaut. C
Troy: Funny twist. B-
Scott: My Dad was yelling at my (other) brother for dropping something while Tracy Morgan was yelling. Total chaos. N/A
Troy: C+
Troy: Probably going to be criminally underrated, but the delivery and Luck’s mispronunciation are great. B+
Scott: Female robot beating up a dude. Okay? C
Scott: Charlie Sheen can relate. B
Scott: Psy hasn’t been relevant in two months. Would have been good 2 months. D
Troy: C+
Scott: Boring D
Scott: “I’d fold your panties anytime.” Slightly humorous. C
Troy: C+
Scott: Blackstreet’s “No Diggity” sung poorly by a fish. Boooo! F
Troy: Clean graphics, visually captivating. B-
Scott: Classic song; classic campaign. B
Troy: Hat tip to a classic Super Bowl commercial. B
Scott: I could actually see Deion Sanders reacting this way. Leon Sandcastle. Killer. A
Troy: Might be the best value at No. 1 in this year’s draft. B+
Scott: Waste of money. Cliche commercial. F
Troy: Recycled an ad that was already on TV. That’s inexcusable. D
Scott: Great social commentary for a Dodge Ram? Pretty cool nonetheless. B
Troy: C+
Scott: Where babies come from was solid. B
Troy: C+
Scott: Cleaver use of Joe Montana for the stain. B
Troy: Wasn’t lucky enough for the Niners. B
Scott: Save 500 million bottles? Go recycling! B
Scott: Solid ad for the “cheap” Mercedes. B
Troy: C+
Scott: Next big thing? Meh. LeBron mailed this one in, and Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd were mediocre after a promising start. D
Troy: So much potential, but ultimately a flop. C+
Poor Scholars 