‘Dad, they were fighting over a parking space!’ Chris Brown and Frank Ocean duke it out

Photo Credit: Consequences of Sound

Photo Credit: Consequences of Sound

BY SCOTT PHILLIPS

Chris Brown must have the most punchable face in the music industry. Over the weekend, the R&B superstar got into a brawl with fellow R&B singer Frank Ocean in the parking lot at Westlake Recording Studios in West Hollywood. The fight allegedly started over a parking space.

Yes, a parking space.

While the brawl reminds me of Calogero confusingly asking his father Lorenzo why Sonny murdered another man over a parking space in A Bronx Tale, just like in the movie, there’s much more to this brawl than just a parking space.

“You don’t understand, Dad, they were fighting over a parking space! Over a parking space, Daddy, why?”

We’ll explain, C.

The “beef” between Ocean and Chris Brown goes back two years, before Ocean was a mainstream star. Ocean had released his mixtape, nostalgia, ULTRA and Brown took to Twitter to comment on it. (Language in photo below NSFW)

brownocean

Chris starts off with a nice enough, “I fuck wit Frank Ocean!” before comparing the Odd Future member to a young James Fauntleroy or Kevin Cossom.

Don’t know who James Fauntleroy or Kevin Cossom is? No, probably not, because they help write songs for other artists and Cossom is finally breaking through himself as a solo artist over a year after Brown misspelled his last name in a tweet.

So “C Breezy” was essentially saying, “Frank, you’re talented enough to write songs for people like me.”

Ocean hilariously retorted by comparing Chris Brown to Sisqo (for Brown’s hair) and Ike Turner (for Brown being a piece of shit), and shit got out of hand on Twitter from there, with Odd Future capo Tyler, The Creator picking up where Ocean left off.

The two reportedly killed any conflict, but not after Brown’s cousins chased Ocean and shot a YouTube video threatening Frank as he drove in his Beamer.

Over a year passed, Ocean released one of the best albums of 2012, and Chris Brown continued doing Chris Brown things like getting into club brawls with Drake.

Brown even sent out a tweet in support of Ocean coming out as gay and the feud seemed to really be over.

But we forgot one major detail: Chris Brown is completely insane.

It’s hilarious that Brown and his people have denied that he started the Drake brawl and now denied he started the Frank Ocean brawl.

Maybe Brown IS telling the truth and these other artists are bullying him. Maybe Chris Brown deserves an Everybody Hates Chris spinoff show. Or maybe Chris Brown is a complete lunatic that beat his girlfriend, fought MULTIPLE celebrities, got into homophobic and sexist Twitter rants and destroyed a Good Morning America dressing room.

Fool me once, Chris Brown, shame on you. Fool me (I lost count) times, Chris Brown, shame on me.

Doesn’t matter much to me, but it might matter to the judge that’s deciding Brown’s fate since he’s on probation and Frank Ocean reportedly wants to press charges.

And in jail, Chris, you won’t have Twitter or a crew of hotheads to back you up when someone talks shit.

Good luck!

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