BY PAT FLYNN
Mercedes-Benz released its Super Bowl commercial featuring Kate Upton. The commercial is titled “Kate Upton Washing the All New Mercedes CLA in slow motion.”
This is a fucking lie.
She’s not washing the car. A group of guys that are supposed to be members of a high school football team are actually washing the car. But they are just gawking at Upton, which I get.
Like every commercial she’s in, Upton was objectified in this one. But the people at Mercedes fancy themselves sophisticated. They weren’t looking to go Carl’s Jr. on everyone. They have her dressed in not too flattering an outfit and not looking overly made up. But that’s not to say they weren’t going for sex appeal.
She stares seductively at the camera and blows soap suds off her hand before walking (read: bouncing) toward the car to inform the guys that are actually washing the car that they missed a spot.
As Upton fans, we have reasons to be concerned about the precedent being set here. She’s spoiled us over the past couple of years with a willingness to exploit herself. If she gets it in her head that wearing mom jean shorts and a loose tank top is OK, then me and someone at Mercedes are gonna have a talk. And by talk I mean I am going to end this person’s life.
[Goes to Carl’s Jr., orders 11 Southwest patty melts]